just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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