Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
and you fell through a lawn chair
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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