North Korea, Best Korea!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
