Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
