I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
