remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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