We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
