is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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