Small penises have feelings too.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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