Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
