I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
