that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
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Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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