I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
