okay pat passed out under dana's car
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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