Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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