my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
