I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
