NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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