is your mom at the bar?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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