And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize