Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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