I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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