I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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