I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
