He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
