Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
