I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize