erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
