she was so not down for the gang bang
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
