its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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