I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
