It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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