dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My underwear smells like fireworks.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
