So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
