we're blogging at a bar
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
