Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
