It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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