It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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