watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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