just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
