god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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