I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
