Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have peed in a lot of sinks
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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