we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
