Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
