The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize