Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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