She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
