you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
