Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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