It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
