Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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