I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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