I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
