The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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