Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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