i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
