In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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