smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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