I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
