i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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